The 10 Worst Movies of 2012

The Ten Worst Movies of 2012

Given that I have already drawn out my list for the fifteen best movies of 2012, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to put my thoughts out there on the worst films of the year also. Now I must say that some of these films may not be bad, but they just came off to me poor enough or disappointing enough to land the list of stink piles. Thankfully, I didn’t see a lot of terrible movies, so most of the really bad ones won’t be on this list. But I found just enough that upset me to put this final list together. Here we go.

10.) Men in Black III

This is the film that barely made the list. It was disappointing on a lot of levels, but then again, it was many times better than the second. Here is the first example of a decent movie, but overall disappointing. Plus, I can’t forget to mention the character of Griffin, one of the most annoying character in a movie in years.

9.) Dark Shadows

Tim Burton and Johnny Depp’s eighth collaboration is, for the first time, a failure. This film offers some funny moments and sweet touches, but it overall falls flat of what is expected from these two talents. The creepily delicious atmosphere and infallible visuals can’t make up for the lackluster script and an unsatisfying ending. Big disappointment here.

8.) Battleship

Don’t get me wrong. I like Peter Berg. I thought Hancock was a lot of fun. But here he winds his work down into a trying-to-be-Michael-Bay slop fest. Which begs the question, why would anyone want to be like Bay? This movie offers some cool visuals, but it’s nothing we haven’t seen before, and it all ends up feeling distant, flat, and messy.

7.) Red Dawn

Did this movie really need to be remade? I mean, really? I had little expectation going into Red Dawn, and I got exactly what I thought I would. A flat, unoriginal, and uninspired action picture that forces its message with too strong of a fist. An offensive message at that.

6.) Taken 2

Here is a movie I was expecting to be bad. What else can you do with the first film? Nothing. Yet somehow I was still excited to see it. I mean, how can you go wrong with Liam Neeson throat punching? Well, as fun as that may be, and it is a little fun in Taken 2, it all gets repetitive and the shaky cam is too sloppy to be anything close to being personal.

5.) Alex Cross

Seriously? How did this movie even get made? I amazes me what kind of garbage Hollywood can throw out there. An even better question, however, is why did Tyler Perry take on a role formerly played by Morgan Freeman. I have nothing against Perry, in fact I think the films he writes and directs, while poor in quality, have good messages, but I strongly believe he should never do this again.

4.) The Devil Inside

Woe to the worn out possession movie genre. Well, rack up The Devil Inside as one of the absolute worst. Man, words escape me when I think about how bad this movie was. “Can you connect the cuts?” Really? If I could connect all the bad scenes in the movie, there would be a straight line all the way through it. This is just atrocious.

3.) The Three Stooges

Ever head of any of the Farley’s Brothers’ movies? Dumb and Dumber and There’s Something About Mary should ring a bell. Good, funny movies. Ever watched The Three Stooges television program? Funny stuff right? Mix those two together and what do you get? Deliberate and horrendous nonsense. I laughed not once in this film. No joke. And the fact that the Farley Brothers actually told the audience at the end to not attempt any of the actions in the film really crawled under my skin. Good God this movie sucks.

2.) Playing for Keeps

The worst romantic comedy I’ve seen in years. I feel bad for Gerard Butler. The man has talent. If only he could pick better scripts. An all star cast (Butler, Jessica Biel, Uma Thurman, Catherine Zeta Jones, and Dennis Quaid) is completely smothered and left with no room to breathe. Also, the Sports Center aspect of this movie is so unprofessional and unrealistic. Never, ever watch this movie.

1.) Madea’s Witness Protection

Congratulations Tyler Perry, you successfully landed the spot for the #1 worst movie of the year and managed to be the only person to be involved with two films on my 10 worst list, not to mention both of them being in the top 5. I have to speak the truth, I hate the Madea movies. I used to enjoy them, but after watching them recently I can’t help but be annoyed by Perry’s unbalanced pacing. One minute its (trying to be) funny, and the next moment it’s dramatic. Its all uneven and unprofessional. Also, this movie has stretches of dialogue that last about as long as typical Tarantino dialogue, but are far less interesting and much poorer in quality. After watching Madea’s Witness Protection, I literally had a bad taste in my mouth. It SUCKS.

So guys, I would like the know, what movies landed your list for worst of the year and why? Comment below and let me know. Thanks for taking the time to read this list and prepare for great year in 2013!

My list for the 15 BEST movies of 2012:

https://benlanesreviews.wordpress.com/2013/01/06/the-15-best-movies-of-2012-a-list-by-benjamin-lane/

All my in depth reviews can be found at

www.benlanesreviews.wordpress.com

Also, please check out my friend Kyle’s blog who does reviews as well: www.williamsreviews.wordpress.com

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